19 November 2010

Things seem to be changes & different... Suddenly i have a stranger family that i have not known each other before feeling like strangers or some kind of feeling that i only rent a room in a place... They will get silent or went back to their room while i walk out from the room... So i prefer to stay in my room without disturbing other... Sometimes they can get very close to me but when they don't feel like getting close to me they will see me as a transparent... Is the problem lie on me again... Am i really so hard to get close or just that they would want to get close to me, just only one side thinking... I really feel like crying out or say out my feeling but i dare not... God please make me stronger coz i was that kind of person will not say out my feeling & everything kept inside my heart... They really hurt me very much... How wish that the times have come so i can move out don't need to care so much or get hurt anymore... How i wish that now my dear is beside of me... Dear i really need you... Only you are the one will never give me this kind of feeling... Have i really lost my loving & caring family... My tears went down but i wish to cry it out then i try to cover up my tears the feeling is so bad... But i can't i don't wish that giving people the feeling that i try to be pity or what & i dare not let my parent know it... My parent sometimes also give me the same feeling... I getting more & more far away from my di & parent... Ensure that time can fly fast enough & don't let me have this kind of feeling anymore...